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Decision made

Memories from a dark time..

I was going to write a very extensive message, but at the moment I was sending it, I deleted it. I wanted to tell you how much I miss you, how much I like you, how much I enjoy being around you. But then I thought to myself, what good will it do to myself telling you all this. From the very basic, I can see that you are not into being with someone at this moment. From my side, I'm almost reaching the desperation stage, but, that's the reason why I deleted my message. I refuse to become desperate. I will not be desperate for it anymore, I used to be a very mellow person, now I've changed and do not know the reason why. And that's the reason why I'm writing you this.

./- In a Dark place -\.

From very far back in time.. 10 years ago..

And here I am, back to the loneliness of my cub, back to the dark place in my heart, where sadness rules. I saw her today, and she was so warm, I was so cold treated though. It feels like I'm begging for... dunno what. And here, on my dark place, I just wonder, wonder how'd her lips taste, how'd a whisper impact deep... but, then back to real I see her gone.. out of sight, and me, back to this place. Nothing, there's nothing I'd want more to hold her hands and look her eyes, endless hope, hugs, romance... All I can do is dream, but each time the dreams fall apart onto reality arms... reaching... scratching, hunger for love it is. But as I do have love on me, it's given away and never comes back... Will I run out of it some day.. Uncertain it is for sure. Got to get myself out of this place, but then I feel more cold out there, and don't have a shelter where to run. Getting out of my hands this feeling is. Shall I quit it, shall I swallow it and digest it as a fantasy it is.. do not think it'll be that simple. Running out of ideas I am... yearning for help!

. . . not surprised!

That specific point in life when you've experienced so many things, maybe in a short period of time or in a long one depending on your own way of living it, that you feel/think that nothing will take you by surprise. Think again, because there are still some things on the road that, if you close your mind thinking that way, you won't even realize that it's there. Some sooner, some later will come into account of this fact.

That spot in time and space makes you feel angry at yourself, perhaps as a psychological self-defense of your mind. Why? That's a very good question, it might be because if nothing takes your breath away in life, then you'll start to feel empty. People tend to take this in different manners, some react and start facing daily chores with a different attitude; some others start looking down at others so just that they feel better. These last type are those that always go mocking their closest people around them so that feel better themselves. The first type will simply come out of their own way and stumble at yours in order to let you know how they feel.

They'd wake you up in the morning with breakfast ready, kiss and hug as a greeting, and these type you should care the most.

I thank life that has given me the privilege of surrounding me with plenty of these people to remind me that there are still in fact many amazing things that life places on the road.

I'm enjoying my life at full indeed!

La noche en pleno

Quisiera tantas cosas.. Y a la vez no quiero nada.
Tanto tiempo ya y sigo sin ambicionar la cima.. Siempre apuntando alto y volando bajo.. Tan harto de la mediocridad y sigo sin hacer nada.. Tomar las riendas y decir basta!

En todo sentido es tan vacio y lleno de todo.. Busco inspiracion y ella me encuentra en momentos vanos.. A mano papel y lapiz y la mente en blanco.. Que vendra a ser en unos cuantos lustros esta mente hoy tan activa.. La presencia de gente ambiciosa me motiva, los comentarios de los envidiosos me inundan de rabia.. Sera salvativo el momento crucial, en que venga la parca y me encuentre con la guardia baja.. Sera que me encuentra y no quiera evitar su encuentro..

. . . a great song . . .

All of these lines across my face
tell you the story of who I am
so many stories of where I've been
and how I got to where I am.

But these stories don't mean anything
when you've got no one to tell them to
it's true, I was made for you.

I climbed across the mountain tops
swam across the ocean blue
I crossed all lines and broke all the rules
and baby I broke them all for you.

Oh because even when I was flat broke
you made me feel like a millions bucks
you do, I was made for you.

You see the smile that's on my mouth
it's hiding the words that don't come out
all of the friends who think that I'm blessed
they don't know my head is a mess.

No they don't know who I really am
and they don't know what I've been through
like you do, and I was made for you.

All of these lines across my face
tell you the story of who I am
so many stories of where I've been
and how I got to where I am.

Oh but these stories don't mean anything
when you've got no one to tell them to
it's true, that I was made for you.

. . . tan solo un pensamiento . . .

Por el poder de 3 veces 3...
Por aquellos que van y aquellos que vienen...
Por los vivos y los muertos...
Por el poder de los 4 elementos...
A mi alrededor todas las cabezas se giran, abriéndome paso, elimino los obstáculos...
Crece mi fuerza, soy energía, puro es mi pensamiento, atraigo lo que quiero.
El universo me otorga aquello que más deseo....
Reina la abundancia, el amor, la salud y el dinero.
Gracias Padre-Madre, concreto está mi sueño.
¡Danza mi corazón, mi espíritu está contento!